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It’s good to be reminded (by David Nice in a piece on artsdesk) of Queen Elizabeth’s response in 1603 to her leading minister, Robert Cecil:
Must is not a word to be used to Princes.
Cecil had been encouraging the old queen to go to bed during
her final illness. Bess was not amused. But her response was the natural one to
unsolicited imperatives, and not just because she was a “prince”.
“Must” so often stimulates a negative feeling, whatever
one’s station in life. As do “should” and “ought”.
Encouraging Russian musicians to oppose the anti-gay laws in
that country, David Nice headlines his article “When artists could speak out.” http://www.theartsdesk.com/classical-music/opinion-when-artists-could-speak-out
“Could.” So much more likely to gain assent than “must”.
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