How often in life we get the wrong end of the stick.
This can have disastrous, destructive consequences, not only in terms of our interpersonal relationships, but also in the area of creativity.
For example: Person A says to Person B, “That shirt is the wrong colour for you.”
What does B do in response?
They may choose to ignore it and move on.
Or B may take offence, taking A’s observation as an uncalled for intrusion, and make one of a range of responses:
“I don’t recall asking for your opinion.” Or
“What’s this to you?” Or
“You’re quite wrong. It’s just right for me.” Or
“Please mind your own business.”
These are just a few of samples of how A’s statement can be dealt with by B. The problem with all these is that, in turn, A may well take offence at the bluntness of B’s response – and consider how to follow up in kind.
You know where this is going. A sequence of traded insults, sometimes cloaked in apparent politeness, can easily happen. It can go on for minutes, hours or days, weeks, months or even years.
This is sometimes called a Discount Revenge Cycle. And it can have the effect of closing down communications, not just between A and B, but throughout the whole team. The resulting damage to creative productivity can be immense.
So how can this negative cycle be stopped and even changed to something more constructive?
The simple answer is for one or other (or both) of the participants to ASSUME POSITIVE INTENTION. Maybe to respond: “That’s interesting – tell me some more.”
It doesn’t always work, but it stands a much better chance of doing so than sending a heat-seeking missile back at the offender.
And it can set up the opposite of the Discount Revenge Cycle – what might be called a Positive Cooperation Cycle. That is so much more likely to create a climate of creative possibility.
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